Aw, Nuts!

For some years Walgreens has been peddling nuts in little packages for 99 cents. I keep a few of them in the car for moments when a small dose of food is desirable.

My favorite among these products has been shell-free salted pistachios. You can buy a 1.5 ounce bag for 99 cents, which works out to $10.56 per pound, or 25.32 Canadian dollars per kilogram. They are very, very tasty.

Yesterday I stopped to pick up a few more bags. To my dismay, the nut display contained not only 1.5 ounce bags of pistachios, but also 1.0 ounce bags. Apparently they're making the transition to much smaller bags. And to a price of $15.84 per pound (C$37.99/kg or 131.70 Pounds Sterling per stone). I will now have to pay Walgreens 50% more money to obtain a given weight of pistachios.

I am sad. Well, it was a nice bargain while it lasted. Guess I should stop into every Walgreens I pass, buy up the remaining pistachios, and freeze them. Don't have much spare cash at the moment, though.

Or find cheaper bulk pistachios, if I can, and decant them into small bags.

What's the best price I can get on shell-free salted pistachios?

Skyrocketing Energy! Clearer Thinking!

My beloved wife is interested in nutrition. Nathan S. Bryan, Ph.D., knows this, so sometimes one of his brochures turns up in our mailbox. Here's yesterday's science-based natural breakthrough.



This is my new favorite phrase. I am sitting in my cubicle. Every now and then, I say aloud, "UNLEASHES the FULL REJUVENATING POWER of BEETS!"* My colleagues are getting used to it.

Bonus points to the layout artist for slightly enlarging the font, as the phrase swells majestically, while switching to beet-colored letters.

The rest of the copy on the page is quite, if I may use the expression, purple-- Mike Vincent suggested that the copywriter's true calling might lie in comic books-- but "unleashing the full rejuvenating power of beets" is truly magnificent. What spinnitch is to Popeye, the beet is to Dr. Bryan.

I've had a soft spot for beets ever since they were involved in one of my best jokes.

The brochure is surprisingly thick. Page 16 will tell you more about the tart, raspberry-like flavor of Dr. Bryan's beverage. In case you'd feared it would taste like beets.



*Exclamation point in original.