Helps Put You on the Road to Optimum Health, It Says Here

[beamjockey]

As the Quantum Wellness Botanical Institute LLC of Beverly Hills, California can tell you, nothing says "Our product is firmly grounded in evidence-based nutritional studies appearing in respectable peer-reviewed journals" quite like naming it MEGA-NUTRITION ORGANIC SUPERFOOD:


Tastes good, and it's so good for you. And remember, kids, "These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease." Says so right on the label.

Comments

[harvey-rrit.livejournal.com]

Can't cure kryptonite poisoning, eh?

Never mind, then.

[purplecthulhu.livejournal.com]

A quantum of wellness would presumably be the smallest amount of wellness that it is possible to have. Not sure that's what i want my health foods to be delivering...

[whl.livejournal.com]

And certified organic means it contains carbon, right?

[harvey-rrit.livejournal.com]

So much nicer on the teeth than that silicon-based food.

Of course, it may just mean:

THIS FOOD WAS NOT GROWN WITH FERTILIZERS FROM SOME NASTY STERILIZED FACTORY TANK.

WE USED SHIT.